Victim of a Foolish Heart

When I was in college, I knew a girl who was a master manipulator. She got what she wanted, when she wanted, as many times as she wanted. Her whims covered the spectrum of human desires — free rides to Wal-Mart, extra clothes money from her parents, invitations to all of the parties, dates with one guy one night, sex with another the very next. The list went on and on. At her peak, she was known as the campus sweetheart while sleeping with three guys — with none of those guys knowing the others existed. I seemed to be the only one who even realized the extent to which she was using people. Her selfishness knew no bounds, and by the end of our senior year, my threshold for her gluttonous behavior was well beyond its limits.

She’s not the only one I’ve known who has decided life is all about her. I’ve encountered a frightening number of people who have this ridiculous belief that they should get whatever they want regardless of how it affects others. This can take on a number of forms, like not returning phone calls, being a financial mooch, only doing what they want to do, cheating, abuse, and so on and so forth.

How do these people get into relationships?

Well, most of them are pretty good at being charismatic and charming. Those who aren’t get what they want by finding a less than secure partner who would do anything to keep them happy. Either way, it’s all about manipulation.

And why wouldn’t these manipulators do what they do best? They’re getting the best of both worlds: the ability to do what they want, whenever they want, and a poor sap to keep leading on by their tantalizing leash (hey — don’t get me wrong, I’ve been that poor sap before).

It’s sad, it’s pathetic, and it makes me so sick, but it’s the hard reality of life. The hope is that we all find people to surround ourselves with who love us for exactly who we are and appreciate what we have to offer. But almost everyone at some point in their life will encounter a manipulator who will turn their world upside-down — oftentimes in a torturous cycle that never quite ends.

So what do you do to break the cycle? In the words of Joss Stone, “don’t be the victim of a foolish heart.” Following your heart can be a wonderful thing, but not when your heart is blinded by false emotion created by someone who knows exactly how to weave the right kind of spell. Your instincts will tell you when something is wrong, no matter how loudly your heart is screaming.

Love and beating rib cages,



~ by Mika Doyle on October 15, 2010.

4 Responses to “Victim of a Foolish Heart”

  1. So true, Mika. People like this used to bother me, but now I realize that the people I value and respect are usually the type to see through those kind of people’s shenanigans. Eventually, their ways catch up to them with various repercussions, but usually at least a poor reputation and lack of respect. I’ve learned, that at the end of the day, all that truly matters is how I’ve treated others and have I maintained my dignity. If so, then I can sleep easy.

    • Or if our loved ones can’t see through the shenanigans at first, we need to be there for them when they eventually hit rock bottom. But I also try to take comfort in the fact that karma will catch up to my old college buddy for all of the ways she used me and everyone else who crossed her path. And if it doesn’t, at least I’ve lead a happy life without her!

  2. Look in the mirror and say the words written here. You may find one of them true about you… Everybody, at one time or another manipulates someone else to get what they want, whether it is material, physical, or emotional. This is a fact of life! One thing that shows true strength is not avoiding manipulation, but rather facing it head on.

  3. Well said, Mika and Tricia. When all else fails give them their Journey CD and keep on walking 😉

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