Male Obsessed Beauty?

Let’s face it; most men in this world don’t really care about how they look.  The average man is satisfied with a haircut, shave and a somewhat wrinkly shirt. I look at the people I work with and I see a stark contrast in how men and women carry themselves.  The average woman spends time and money putting themselves together on a daily basis, spending money loosing weight, getting their hair done and even spending money on cosmetic surgery,  whereas a man will simply dress just good enough so he doesn’t have to be worried about someone calling the authorities to have him removed from the premises for male nudity.

A while back I did a blog post on how beauty and looking attractive can be beneficial in the work place.  While this is unfortunate for all I feel that women share a huge burden in this because it’s always the average woman who has to live up to this impossible standard of beauty while the man can simply get by on looking like he just got out of bed.

But I did some thinking.  In a continuation of that previous post, I thought of how different and crazy it would be if the roles were reversed! What if it were MEN that were obsessed with beauty just to fit in and women could simply dress any way they wanted just as long as it was borderline acceptable. Yes, I’m talking about a FEMALE DOMINATED society where men have to live up to the beauty standards bestowed upon them by their significant other.  To have some fun with this I came up with a few ways men would have to enhance themselves in order to “fit in” this female dominated society.

Male Health Spas:

Instead of having sports bars such as Hooters and the Tilted Kilt there would be a slew of places men would go, meet, and get their bear claws (toenails) worked on while getting regular waxing on their backs, stomachs, and arms.  Hey, I didn’t say they couldn’t grab a beer and a plate of buffalo wings!

Specially made shoes for men under 5 foot 7:

Let’s face the truth; women just don’t dig short guys.  They prefer them to be tall and lean.  So in this new female dominated world, men are simply just going to have to RISE to the challenge.  As high heels helped women, so will a scientific breakthrough to help men miracously gain a few inches of height!  I’m thinking a new era of cowboy boots or maybe even 60’s style platform shoes, but for the new millennium. Let’s call them the “wonder lift”.

Male Breast Reduction Clinics:

Men the MOOBS (male boobs) have got to go!  I could see plastic surgeons making a killing off of guys coming in off the street getting their chest lean and mean.  No more jiggly wiggly when they walk down the street in tight shirts, from now on its rock hard pecs, the type that drive women wild. While you’re at it, throw in a tummy tuck as well.

Male Weaves and Extensions

No more baldness. Sure men every now and then color their hair to remove some grey, but in this new female driven society, men will have to have the locks.  Just like Sampson’s long dark main got Delilah’s attention, so will men have to have long striking mane of hair.

That’s about all I have for now, but if you ladies would like to join in on the fun let me know ways man can enhance their looks.  I’m sure you can come up with some great ideas.

-Darold Ingram

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~ by daroldingram on August 25, 2010.

3 Responses to “Male Obsessed Beauty?”

  1. LOVE this post, Darold! I know that men are increasingly facing these kinds of issues and also fight eating disorders, but the reality is that women are faced with this every single day. I always tell my brother how lucky he is that he’s in construction and can just roll out of bed and go. I have to spend an hour showering, doing my hair and putting on my makeup every. single. day! And when I don’t — I feel plain and unattractive when I walk out the door because of these ridiculous standards of beauty our society has created. Is it partially my fault for giving in to those standards? Yes. For sure. I’m trying to balance it all out and be more myself these days, but it’s way more of a challenge than I ever thought possible. Anyway, thanks for writing a post for the ladies!

  2. I just can’t imagine a society where the men truly fuss over what we wear. I know there is the significant other or two who make small demands about hem length (for the longer or the shorter), necklines, make up restrictions…. But on average, I don’t believe my meticiously chosen footwear, my change in eyeliner, or that I’m wearing pants that are a size too big are really noticed by men. I can’t imagine living with a man who picked at my shirt and insisted I (or eventually he) ironed it before we left the house. Interesting thought!

    • One of the guys I went on a couple of dates with actually told me I looked bad in my jeans because they were too baggy. I think before that experience, I would have agreed with you, but I’ve learned there are some men out there who are extremely shallow. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised because he spends hours at the gym every single day, removes the hair his armpits and chest (and I think even his arms), and is on a very strict diet. Ugh, way too high maintenance for me, and definitely very bad for my self-esteem.

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